


Monster Vision

by lizard_socks



Category: Original Work
Genre: Curses, Gen, Hallucinations, Light-Hearted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-22
Updated: 2013-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:42:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23403940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizard_socks/pseuds/lizard_socks
Summary: Robin is cursed to see everyone as if they were monsters. But that's OK - it makes them fun to look at.





	Monster Vision

It was early afternoon on a Sunday. Robin would be driving back to Minneapolis soon, but first, he had arranged a lunch date with his girlfriend Laura, who lived back in his hometown. They didn't want anything fancy under such a tight schedule, so they just went to an Arby's next to the grocery store parking lot. The restaurant was nothing fancy, but there was a nice space in the back for seating, separated from the main area by a wall with openings on either side.

Robin sat down and clasped his hands together. He had never told this to anyone before, but he knew that he had to tell it to her before the relationship went any further. Doing otherwise would just be dishonest. Thankfully, she was the kind of woman who would take you at your word. And, as Robin now recalled, she believed in ghosts, so this wouldn't be much of a stretch.

“Here's the deal,” he said. “Remember when I was seventeen or so, and I suddenly got way less shy?” It had been three years ago, but they'd known each other for much longer.

“I guess,” Laura said.

Robin didn't want to lay it on her right away. “Well, before,” he said, “I had a lot of trouble recognizing people.” In reality, he hadn't been able to recognize people at all, but he didn't want to come off as melodramatic. “Anyway, what happened was that I didn't ever approach anyone, since I was terrified of mistaking them for someone else.

“That all changed when I was a junior in high school. I had gone into a Wendy's late at night, when I was the only customer there. The guy behind the counter had an attitude. And, as it turned out, he knew dark magic.” Robin glanced down at his food, not sure what Laura would think. “He was the only other guy in the building. A teenager. He was a shadowy sort of guy. He had dyed his hair gray and made it all spiky.”

Robin looked back up. “Anyway, he yelled at me, and I got mad and started yelling back. It had been a rough day for me, and I was just tired.”

“Dark magic? Funny that someone with such a rare and valuable skill would be working a low-paying job,” Laura asked. He could tell that she wasn't quite sure if he was being serious.

“I would have thought so back then too,” Robin said, “if he hadn't put a curse on me.”

“Oh my god.” Laura's eyes widened in shock. “What did he do? Did you report him to the police?” She leaned forward. “They didn't believe you, did they?” she shouted.

“Calm down,” Robin told her. “First of all, they did believe me. Why do you think they shut that place down?” He pointed over at the empty building across the parking lot. "He was the manager, and they had him arrested, 'cause you know, unlicensed magic is a felony. And second, the word 'curse' might be a bit misleading.”

“Just tell me what it did to you, OK?” Laura asked.

Robin took a deep breath.

“Well, now, whenever I set my eyes on a human being, I don't  see them as a human being. I see... a monster.”

“No,” Laura gasped, putting her hands to her face.

“It's true. Any human. Even if they're in a mirror, or on TV, or in Sports Illustrated.” Robin leaned in. “It makes the swimsuit issue even  more ridiculous,” he said, grinning.

“But isn't it scary?”

“Not at all. You see,” - Robin leaned back in his chair - "I was always intimidated by other people. They all looked alike to me, and I never knew how to tell them apart. But now, when I look around, I see creatures of all shapes, sizes, and colors. I can finally recognize people I know! It makes everything so much easier on me.”

“Wow,” Laura said. She took a drink of her soda. "There's one thing I want to know, though. What do I look like?”

“You?”

Robin looked at her face. Her yellow eyes, her mint green fur, those soft, pointed ears on the top of her head... She looked great, but how would he explain it?

“Okay, so imagine a giant, human-sized cat with fur the color of spearmint gum.”

“Really?” Laura laughed.

“Yeah. Don't get me wrong, you look amazing to me. Like, really beautiful. It might be hard to imagine, but it's true.”

Robin had started dating Laura last summer, when he was working an internship in his hometown and living with his parents. They were the first people he told about his “monster vision,” as he put it. His dad took him to a therapist; she told them that as long as the visions weren't bothering Robin, it was fine to leave things as they were – much to his relief. Robin had never told anyone else back home about his visions until he told Laura, just now, but most of his college friends back in the city had known for a while.

On the long bus ride back to the city, Robin made a note of looking at the other riders. Next to him was a bluish-gray dragon in a business suit, busy checking emails on his smartphone. His reptilian eyes darted back and forth as he typed his reply. Why did he have to rush? Robin figured the bus wouldn't get to the Cities for at least another thirty minutes.

Across the aisle was a young girl with the snout of an anteater. Her long ears were folded down under the hat she was wearing, and her tail just barely stuck out from under her coat. Sitting beside her was a large blue creature. He was nothing a ball of fur save for his eyes and mouth, yet he had no trouble getting off on the next stop. Of course Robin knew that he had arms and legs like anyone else, but it was easy to forget that sometimes.

After Robin got off in Minneapolis, he took the city bus back to his house. When he got there, his roommate Ryan, a tall lizard-like creature with short fur that resembled peach fuzz, opened the door for him. He had moved in a few weeks ago, when Robin's old roommate (a mutual  friend) got married.

“Where've you been?” he asked.

“I was getting lunch with Laura,” Robin replied.

“You could have brought me something. I don't know what lizards eat, though.”

“You're not  really a lizard,” Robin told him. “I just see you as one. I told you that.” He set a roast beef sandwich on the table. “So I just got you this.” He took off his winter coat and put on a purple vest that matched his shirt.

“It's cold,” Ryan complained. He sat on the couch in front of the living room window. Since it was summer, the sun was still out at this time of day; the sunlight from the window behind him lit the whole room.

“I knew you were gonna ask, though.” Robin grinned. “You don't have to eat it.”

Ryan chowed down on the sandwich and turned on the TV. “What's she look like to you?” he asked, pointing at the lady in the Swiffer ad.

Robin was getting tired of this.“She looks kinda nondescript, I guess. Like a cross between a cat and a dog. Just generic animal stuff.” He looked over at Ryan, who had just finished the sandwich. “For all you know, I could just be making this up.”

“Well, maybe you are,” he said. “Maybe it's some sort of psychological thing.”

Robin sat down next to Ryan on the couch. He had thought about that before. It might explain why he was seeing things, at least to people who didn't believe in magic. “But then how do you explain the Wendy's closing?” Robin asked. “And the policeman believed me.”

“It's hard to run a franchise!” Ryan said. “They just didn't have enough capital! And the police were probably just humoring you, anyway.”

“Well, I  do believe in magic,” Robin said, “and I'd like to believe the police are protecting us. I don't want to feel vulnerable.” He put his hands in his pockets and looked out the window,  watching the people go by.

“Hey, I just thought of something else,” Ryan said, out of the blue. “What do  you look like? You know, if you look in the mirror?”

“Oh, I don't look any different than before.” Robin shrugged. “It's kinda lame, but you know, if I couldn't see my own face, it would be really hard to shave.”

“ So it's like you're the only human in the world?” Ryan asked.

“Yeah, I guess.” It occurred to Robin that he was living in a cartoon. “ Man, it sounds so weird talking about it. But I've just gotten used to it, you know?” He leaned back on the sofa. “ If  Trey  was still living here, he could tell you all of this.  He lived with me for two years, so I talked to him about it a lot .”

“Yeah, but he went and married that Canadian girl,” Ryan said. “Moving to Canada. The dream of big-city liberals everywhere.” He sighed wistfully.

“They never do it because of the president, though,” Robin said. “They do it for the girl.”

“And speaking of girls.” Ryan put his legs up on the armrest, and his (imaginary) tail almost knocked Robin onto the floor. “What's my girlfriend look like?”

“Emily? She's this deep shade of purple, almost indigo. And she doesn't have fur, just bare skin, but she's got a long, thin tail with spikes down the top of it, and they go up to her head. And her eyes are like a snake, but they're white-”

“What are you saying about me?” Emily demanded. She appeared from the kitchen hallway next to the TV set. Her long tail stuck out from under her black dress and was wrapped around her feet.

Robin looked over at her. “Hey, you should have let me know you were here.” He tried to force a smile.

“Robin! I am  not a snake! I am a  human being !” She stomped her foot on the floor.

“Give him a break, Emily,” Ryan said. “He wasn't being mean to you! He just has this weird mind thing going on where he thinks people are monsters.”

“Like I'm gonna believe that,” Emily scoffed. She stormed out the door, and Ryan got up without saying a word, his feet making thumping noises as he ran after her. Robin sighed. He knew he couldn't count on Ryan to ever stay in one place.

The sight of Emily still frightened him a bit, but he hoped that getting to know her better would fix that. After all, when Ryan had first moved in, Robin saw him as a giant dinosaur with sharp fangs. He had stayed a big, green reptile, but his features had softened considerably; he looked much friendlier than he had when they first met.

Robin picked up the TV remote and flipped over to ESPN, which was showing the Minnesota/Nebraska game. Ryan came back inside, alone. “I can't catch up with her. She's too fast!” He saw the TV. “I didn't know you followed football,” he told Robin.

Robin yawned. “Seeing nothing but colorful monsters all day can take a toll on my senses sometimes,” he explained. “I was never into football growing up, but since the players' faces are covered by their helmets, I don't see them as monsters like everyone else. It's a good way for me to take a break and relax.”

He took a drink of water. “You wanna watch it with me? The Gophers might do pretty well today. You never know.”


End file.
